Coping With Fussy Eaters

Most of the children you mind will go through a phase of faddy eating at some stage, though this usually doesn’t happen until after the first year.

The first hint that a baby might be a fussy eater typically only begins at the weaning stage, when solids are initially introduced into her diet. The best chance of avoiding fussy eating habits at that early stage is to give her new foods in small amounts, one at a time. If you mind a young baby, give her a drink of milk first, followed by mashed or liquidised solid food. You’ll find that she adapts very quickly, although milk remains her main source of nourishment until she is at least one year old.

From around the age of 18 months, however, a child begins to show that she has likes and dislikes when it comes to food. And the problem with a child who refuses to eat what is placed in front of her, or who sits picking at her plate with a terribly sad expression on her face, is that you cannot force her to eat.

If she misbehaves in other ways while you mind her, you can do something immediate such as remove her toy or give her a reprimand. It’s different with eating because a child – whether a toddler or a five-year-old - is totally in control of what she chews and swallows. No matter how much pressure you put on her, she has to choose to eat. Fortunately, there is lots that you can do to help a fussy eater approach snacks and meals with greater enthusiasm. A calm, planned approach that considers the eating experience from the child’s perspective is often an effective way forward.

The Way It Looks

A picky eater who prods tentatively at her food may do so because the meal looks unappetising from her point of view. You will almost certainly have child-sized chairs, tables and cutlery in your own house, but the child’s parents may not have considered this for meals at home - if she doesn’t have a comfortable eating position during a meal or if the cutlery is too big for her little hands to hold, her enthusiasm for food will evaporate.

 Here are some other factors to consider when trying to make a plateful of food attractive to a child you mind:

• size of portions. A child has a much smaller stomach than an adult and can only eat approximately forty per cent of an adult-sized portion. Putting too much on her plate may kill her appetite instantly. It’s best to serve smaller portions on a large plate.
   
• food temperature. Adults usually like food served piping hot. A child, however, usually prefers food to be cooler. If it is served too hot, she may be afraid of burning her mouth and yet she may not have the patience to wait for it to cool.
   
• different tastes. A child is sensitive to four main tastes (sweet, sour, bitter, salty), although this varies with her age. Adults often prefer spicy food with very distinctive flavours, yet children prefer plainer foods. Cook children’s meals without seasoning.
   
• pleasant texture. A young child vomits more easily than an adult – food which is too dry or too greasy can stick to her upper palate making her sick. She can’t help this reaction; she isn’t gagging just for the sake of it. Try to avoid textures she dislikes.

 Too Much Worry

Childminders and parents often become concerned about a child’s fussy eating habits because of fear that she will become too thin, or underweight or unhealthy. Yet findings from a large scale psychological study confirmed that worry about a child’s food intake is often unnecessary.

In this project, which lasted several weeks and involved hundreds of children, the young eaters were allowed to eat whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. Surprisingly, most children tried every single food that was on offer and rarely did a child eat too much of anything. And there were no complaints of loss of appetite or sore tummies during this time. Qualified dieticians involved in the study agreed at the end that the food eaten by the children overall represented a balanced diet.

So if you or a child’s parents are worried about her eating habits and food intake, jointly make a record of everything she eats when you mind her and at home during a two-week period. Divide the food into substance categories (eg protein, calcium, vitamins etc) and see what pattern emerges. You may discover her diet is more balanced than you originally thought. Remember also that every child is different and that the amount of food necessary depends on her individual height, body size, age, daily routine and metabolism.

Attention-Seeking

Snacks and meals are spoilt by a fussy eater who says “I don’t want anything” or “I’m not hungry,” especially if you know that this same child would happily munch away at a plate of chocolate bars right now.

 If you mind a child who acts like this, consider the possibility that she is simply attention-seeking. In other words, she may be fussy about her food because she realises this is a good way to get your attention. Perhaps if she sits quietly during mealtime, all the other children you mind get an opportunity to say what they want to say, but she can’t get a word in because she’s the youngest. Perhaps she has discovered that slopping her food all over the plate without actually putting any of it to her lips gives her centre-stage position. If the child’s fussiness could be attention-seeking, try to ignore her picky eating habits and give her lots of attention while she eats with you.

 Tips For Coping With A Fussy Eater

Here are some other suggestions for managing a picky eater whom you mind:

• realistic expectations. There is no point in spending a long time preparing an elaborate meal for a young child, because she simply may not like it. Don’t expect too much, and try to avoid her having too many snacks between meals.
   
• give her choice. She will be more interested in eating what is in front of her when she has been given some choice. If possible, let the child pick from a very limited range of meal options so that her motivation is higher.
   
• relax at mealtimes. Since tension is highly infectious, try to relax before serving a meal to a fussy eater. Even if you are anxious and harassed, make an effort to conceal these feelings when she is eating.
   
• avoid threats. These rarely work for two reasons. First, they create head-to-head confrontations – you can’t force her to eat no matter how hard you try. Second, threats increase her anxiety which decreases her appetite.
   
• involve her. Although a pre-schooler cannot cook meals, there are plenty of ways she can become involved in the preparation. She could bring ingredients to you, stir the mixture and set the table. The more involvement, the more likely she is to eat it.
   
• vary the format. A child who is faddy about meals may be less fussy about snacks. Many foods -  such as raw vegetables, sandwiches, pizza – can be eaten by hand, which may be more attractive to the child.
   
• link with her parents. Strategies to improve the eating habits of a child you mind won’t work unless her parents use similar techniques at home. Tell them your aims at mealtimes and encourage them to adopt the same approach.